we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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