The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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