I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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