So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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