I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
