I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
