Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
