yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
