dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
