my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
