tonight lets celebrate not being married
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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