Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
