wrigley field is MILF paradise
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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