sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
