she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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