But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
