Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
