The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
