Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
