I think i peed on brittanys purse
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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