LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
