the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I looked at my own cervix.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I am one with the molecules
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
