I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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