So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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