Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
