I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize