South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
