What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
