i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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