im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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