i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
MIDGETS
????
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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