We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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