he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
So squirting runs in the family.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
