i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
