The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
