Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
be right there i have to get my cape
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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