Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
