I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
