i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
