So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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