Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You are a genius and a whore.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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