She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
