i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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