the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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