SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
