whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
