lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Found the puke drawer
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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