Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize