i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
