This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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