Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
