belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize