He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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