Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
